Category Archives: Bizzaro

Balotelli Throws Darts At Youth Team Players

Mario Loves Trouble

Mario Balotelli LOVES attention. Absolutely craves it. And so, when he became bored over the weekend having missed out on a place in the Italy squad he took it upon himself to create a new ‘activity’ at Manchester City as he decided why the hell not against throwing a few darts at fellow City youth players.

The Independent reported yesterday that Balotelli had thrown ‘at least one dart’ and the matter is sure to interest City boss Roberto Mancini as he was away when the incident took place:

City are yet to establish a full understanding of why Balotelli threw the dart and will give him the chance to offer an explanation before deciding what action to take. Manager Roberto Mancini will also need to be brought up to speed with the incident, as he has been away from the club. He will seek an explanation from the 20-year-old striker before discussing the incident with senior executives at the club.

Mercifully, nobody was hurt during the incident, which may have spared Balotelli from substantial disciplinary action which would leave his City future looking in even more serious doubt.

The club appear to view the incident as a foolish prank.

It’s only a matter of time ’till Roberto shows Mario the door. I’ll give it the Summer, tops.


Club Fined After Fan Threw Porridge At The Referee

South African football club the Orlando Pirates were handed a suspended fine of 50,000 rands earlier today after the country’s Premier Soccer League found them guilty of apparently adding a bit of comedy to football. The spectator had rather humorously thrown a bowl of porridge at the referee during a successful Pirates away win back in January. What a bloody legend.Sir, you made me lol.

From Reuters:

The Soweto club, among the front-runners for the league title this season, were hit with a suspended 50,000 rand ($7,106) fine after pleading guilty to a charge of spectator misbehaviour and bringing the game into disrepute.

A supporter hurled a handful of stodgy porridge, which South Africans commonly eat with most meals, at the referee at the end of a comfortable away win for the Pirates in Durban in January.

I just though of an amazing idea. If, say, Martin Atkinson or Chris Foy are having rubbish games there should be a rule to allow spectators to throw porridge (or something of the sorts) at the out-of-form official. It would make for a hysterical new Premier League and it would add some spice to the games as well. Its something I’m rather looking forward to.

Luis Adriano (Shakthar) Kneed in the Face by Vitaliy Nedilko (Volyn)

With Wrestlemania 27 just a couple of weeks away, WWE fever is taking over in the Ukrainian football league.

Return Of The Lasers

People in England just love targeting players/officials with lasers don't they?

Yesterday we saw the return of the lasers, just a mere four weeks since United winger Nani was given a face full of laser in their Champions League last 16 tie vs Marseille. Chris Foy had just flashed a yellow card at Chelsea mid Ramires and as a result the English referee was greeted with a green laser (probably from a Chelsea fan), shining brightly on the back of his neck.

What is it with England and lasers? People in England seem to LOVE lasers. Its weird. I’m not a particular laser fan myself but I do enjoy the occasional laser shot on a player that I dislike (eg Didier Drogba, Cristiano Ronaldo) although temporarily blinding the player would be going a wee bit too far.

Fulham To Unveil Statue In Memory Of Michael Jackson

Wacko Jacko - Coming To A Stadium Near You

Fulham are set to announce that they will unveil a statue of the pop king Michael Jackson after Al Fayed confirmed it would officially be unveiled when Fulham host Blackpool at Craven Cottage on April 3.


To erect a statue of a musician amongst some of the clubs greatest ever players is just total madness. And the comments Fayed made re the statue? Jeeesus:

“Michael Jackson was truly a legend, a term used too often in this modern world saturated in the hyperbole surrounding celebrity,” said Fayed.

“He was my friend, a man with whom I shared many happy memories and who died a tragic and untimely death. He left behind a legacy of music so vast it takes one’s breath away; from a precocious talent to an ingenuity and ground breaking modernity that shall never be repeated.

“It shall often be imitated, but it will never be replicated, Michael Jackson was, and shall always remain, one of a kind. I hope that many fans of his will visit the statue at the Cottage from far and wide, and that Fulham fans will appreciate seeing the finest performer in the world, in and amongst them, the finest fans in the world.”

Cringeworthy stuff folks. Surely former players such as George Best and even Roy Hodgson deserve a spot on the statue waiting list more than the music mastermind who only ever attended one game.

Arsenal To Recoup Jens Lehmann?

I couldn’t quite get my head around it either but it does seem logical. I mean, who else do Arsenal have besides Manuel Almunia, who, to be fair, can have his good days and his utterly dismal days. Mostly dismal actually. But with Lukas Fabianski and Wojieach-impossible-to-spell-Szezcney out with long-term injuries I can see why Wenger wants to resign the Lehmannator (don’t worry it’ll catch on).

Lehmann was speaking to the German newspaper Bild about the part he hopes to play for Arsenal and said:

“Arsenal currently has a goalkeeping crisis. And I would like to help out. I was at last week’s Champions League match with Barcelona, I was even a Sky expert when goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny injured his finger.” And he continued: “I would not have thought even in my dreams that Arsenal would come and get me…”

“I’m looking forward to the role of back up and will support Almunia… We can still win the title.”

Of course then he would have to refuel his rivalry with Spaniard and error-prone Manuel Almunia who, in the past, had played second fiddle to Lehmann before he too became error-prone. Lehmann even went as far to say “I know he hates me” back in 2008 referring to Spaniard purely out of jealousy (well I’d like to think so ok?).

Footballer Grabs Opposing Player By The Balls

You sneaky scoundrel.